What a difference an orgasm makes!
i jerked-off and came last night, with Her gracious permission. And immediately, a sense of peace and completeness descended over over me. It was like a switch had been thrown. i went from being on edge, constantly feeling a desperate need to "do something," to feeling as if all was right with the world and i needn't do a thing.
That feeling of peace is still with me this morning, mixed with anticipation and hope of seeing Her tonight.
Her instructions called for me to lock up Her cock immediately after cumming, which i did. However, i felt resistant to the idea, satisfied in the moment to remain as i was. And i had to push forward solely on the intellectual knowledge that i needed to follow Her instructions.
Fortunately, that feeling of independence lasted only about as long as it took to lock on the cage, and then the glow of subservience re-kindled. It was like slipping on an old suit and remembering why it was your favorite.
Her Cock is still caged as i journal this entry, though i did have to re-fit the cage this morning. i had tried using a more restrictive locking ring last night to prevent "pull-out" (not that i would ever attempt that). But i found it to be so painful during the night that i was worried i was hurting Her cock and balls, and so re-fitted the cage with a looser fitting locking ring.
However, at the moment i have a nagging feeling that Her cock is not as locked up as it should be. Whenever i am the least bit aroused it is impossible to pull-out of the cage. But, as i found out by accident last week, when Her cock is fully shrunk down, the cage can be defeated. However, without the key, getting back into the cage is impossible, and thus there is no way to hide escape from Her. So, when i am in Her company and She holds the key, Her cock is effectively locked up. In addition, i did have a momentary panic attack this morning when i couldn't remember where i had left the key and was confronted with the difficulty that would be entailed in getting cage off, if need be, without the key. So clearly i still carry some psychological sense of restriction at all times.
My fantasies while wanking last night centered on serving Her and Her (still unknown to me) lover. They were achingly erotic fantasies. i would love for them to work out in real life.
No comments:
Post a Comment