a class act

i spent last night with K. We/we started the evening by going to dance workout together and then having beers at a nearby bar, where we caught up and got up to date. Since i last saw her, almost two months ago, she had started seeing someone but just that day had broken off with him. Meanwhile she had gotten back in touch with an old high school friend and was now having a mad email romance with him. When my turn came, i shared the news that my cock no longer belonged to me. I didn't think that she would be weirded out by the news, but i was concerned that she might put off a bit. Yet, after filling in the details, i was happily surprised to find that she was still down for me, and We/we spend the night at her place. We had a great time hanging out, talking and laughing. However, much to her frustration, she was hit by a migraine late in the evening. Nicely enough, she was very gracious and had no problems being with me while i followed my instructions - masturbating for 15 minutes. By the time morning came around, it was only about six hours later, and while she was feeling better, the migraine had taken the wind of her sails. I masturbated again, and again she kept me company.

It felt so fantastic to be so open with someone about what's going on with me and still have that person be into me. i felt like i had hit the jackpot.

a gift from S.

Last night when i put on my leggings for dance class, Her "package" felt bigger. It was obviously a little swollen. my dance pants are cotton/lycra and fit very snugly. So, it's not surprising that they would make me notice something i might not feel in my jeans.

And then this morning, the familiar ache returned. And after masturbating, it got worse. As i type right now, an ache is pulsing though Her balls.

So, now i have another reminder of my status under S.

It's the gift that keep on giving!

discipline

It's getting increasingly hard to masturbate without constantly stopping to keep from cumming. This morning i came within a second of passing the point of no return.

As per Her instructions i masturbated for 15 minutes last night and again this morning.

my date with K. is tonight. i don't know if we will end up messing around - but if we do, i will have to be extremely careful in order to avoid cumming. i almost wish Mistress S. had ordered Her cock caged for tonight, as She has for my upcoming date with L.

i'm still wondering what K. will think of all this. it will be an interesting date, if nothing else.

who knew it could be so good?

It was very hard to stop masturbating last night and again this morning.

Not hard in the sense that i couldn't stop on time - that's easy. i just watch the clock and take my hand off Her cock when the 15 minutes are up.

It's difficult in the sense that i don't want to stop. i desperately want to keep on wanking, even though i am not allowed to cum.

i don't want to stop, in part, because i want to keep wanking until i cum, naturally enough.

However, on top of all that, masturbating this way, i.e. under Her control, is so much better than masturbating on my own. It feels better, MUCH better. The pleasure is very much more intense and way more constant. An erotic charge crackles through me like electricity.

If She hadn't set a 15 minute/twice per day limit on my masturbation sessions, i would probably spend hours a day wanking like this.

When i masturbate on my own i rarely feel this good. In fact, most of the time when i masturbate on my own, it doesn't come anywhere close to feeling this good. [Though, slut that i am, that never stopped me from masturbating constantly before].

No surprise then that i am so very happy to be under Her control.

crazy talk

It's been four days since She allowed me to cum, on Her bathroom floor, and while i am desperate to jerk off, the constant aching hasn't resurfaced, yet. (Thank goodness.)

This morning's masturbation session followed the pattern of the last couple of days - i can only wank for short bursts before having to stop in order to avoid cumming.

my fantasies while masturbating this morning were dominated by visions of being with Her while i am collared, leashed and caged, visions of being at Her feet, doing Her ironing, laying down next to Her, talking with Her, all the while marked and constrained like chattel.

There is something powerful and wonderful about the dramatic combination of being very close to Her and at the same time being submissive to Her, of being intimate with Her while collared and caged like a slave, an animal. Sometimes when i am lying next to Her, the contrast of Her freedom against the reality of my collar, leash and cock cage washes over me as pure joy.

i know this all must sound like crazy talk. And i know that much of this could just be Her cock talking.

But damn, that's what it feels like in this moment.

it's all about Her

i masturbated last night and again this morning, as per Her instructions.

It was very difficult this morning. i was incredibly turned on, and Her cock was rock hard. i had to stop every 15 or 30 seconds in order to keep from cumming.

i was thinking about Her, of course.

what a weirdo

All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off. All day long, i've been desperate to jerk-off.

Lucky me!

as if there is no tomorrow

Last night and this morning were pretty "normal" masturbation sessions. i wanked away as per Her instruction. And as is the pattern, i was pulled up short by the time limit.

The tension and distraction is beginning to mount, again.

i am fixed on the new fantasy track: being Her strap-on slut. I fantasize about being on my knees and sucking Her strap-on cock as if there is no tomorrow. And then having Her grab me by the hair, forcing me to the floor and fucking me in the ass.

Pretty standard fantasy fare for a submissive boy - but it had never come up as a fantasy with Her before.

i tend to fantasize only about the possible. i never fantasize about the impossible, e.g. sex with celebrities. Would that i could, but i can't. Apparently, there needs to be a sense that something is at least possible, even if improbable, for it to be erotic for me. The completely-out-of-reach is apparently so pointless to whatever section of my brain that controls my fantasies that it is deemed irrelevant.

The one exception to this rule, is the "what might have been" fantasy. i do sometimes fantasize about what might have been with certain lovers over the years had i done things differently - mostly if i had been more committed to pursuing my fantasies of submission.

That said, i probably have had more than my fair share of fantasy experiences over the years - though none have come close to what's going down now.

did i mention how lucky i am?

reprieve

my balls have stopped aching, for the moment at least. Yesterday morning, She permitted me to jerk-off and cum on Her bathroom floor.

It was simply a wonderful moment.

It seems She wanted me to jerk-off and cum as soon as possible, but i didn't understand that at first and so began pacing myself right away so as not to get too excited too soon. Of course, She immediately corrected me - and i soon came all over Her bathroom floor, which She immediately had me lick up.

Last night i masturbated without the usual edge of desperation that now usually accompanies my wanking. However, that window of ease has already passed. As i write, i feel the tension back again, and i know it won't go away until i am allowed to cum again.

She leaves tomorrow on Her vacation and won't be back for 11 days. In the meantime, She is giving me only one way to cum while she is gone: i get to cum once for every six hours i wear a butt plug.

Like most uptight white boys, my ass is clenched so tight that its a wonder anything gets out, much less in. However, She has announced that She intends to fuck my ass - thus the incentive oriented training.

i'm only up to two hours, total, as of this moment, and already my asshole is feeling a little warm. i'm a little concerned (OK, a lot concerned) that i will have to take this very slowly.

i had hoped to get up to six hours and be able to cum before next Friday, when i have a date with my friend K. Mistress S. gave permission for Her cock to be out it's cage during that date, and even gave permission for me to have sex with K. But, i am still explicitly forbidden from cumming when with K. So, jerking off and cumming before the date with K. seemed like the better part of valor.

However, that now seems very unlikely if i am to be careful with my ass - and i am sure i would be in serious trouble with Her, if i wasn't.

i haven't spoken with K. in person since i lost ownership of my cock, and i don't know what her reaction will be. it should be a very interesting night.

i masturbated in the shower this morning - fantasizing about being on my knees, with my chest and shoulders pressed flat to the ground, my face turned to the side, and my ass up in the air, all while being fucked in the ass by Her, wielding a strap-on.

i stopped at the 15 minute mark, of course. but it was a bit of shock, kinda like watching a basketball championship game on TV only to have the power go out just as a player goes up to take the final, deciding shot of the game.

She is a wonderful domme.