Last night it was pretty hard to stop masturbating.
In recent days the frustration from denial has gotten to the point that the only time during the day when i am not stressed out is when i am masturbating. Everything is fine when i am wanking. In fact it's more than fine, it's fantastic. i have to pause every minute or so just to keep from cumming. But when i'm not masturbating, i'm plain stressed out.
So, when the 15 minutes were up last night i came close to freaking out. i also came close to the breaking point last Sunday, but managed to pull myself back from the edge. Last night, i stopped wanking, of course. But it was gut wrenching, and then the on-going stress kicked back in again, only worse.
i'm very lucky to be in this situation, and confronting my feelings and desires has definitely helped me to grow and understand myself. But i've yet to resolve the growing stress. So apparently there's still plenty of "opportunity for personal growth." ;)
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