mind control

Today is a bit of challenge, as i find myself feeling quite desperate and on edge, my feelings dominated by frustration.

Earlier today i had one particularly bad moment, where i was feeling quite bad. It was so severe that it shook me up a bit, but on the flip side it woke me up to confronting my feelings, drawing my consciousness outward to where i had a bit more perspective instead of being so wrapped up in my feelings.

And in that moment, without denying what i was feeling, i was able to remind myself how lucky i am, that to live in erotic desperation is a gift that i could never have on my own (as a submissive slut who gets turned on by denial), that this may be a hard thing but it is also a *good thing* - the coin has two sides.

As i type this out, it sounds, even to my own ears, a little bit like self-brainwashing, but there it is.

However, and surprisingly, that intellectual exercise actually helped re-shape my feelings a bit. i'm still feeling frustrated, but it's not as bad. And writing out my feelings here in this blog, helps too, (yet another gift from Her!).

i'm going to dance class later today, where hopefully i can work out some more frustration. The teacher today is R., and her class is usually a very hard-working sweaty affair with a bunch of talented, enthusiastic dancers. i think i will focus on that, using it as a goal to get through the rest of the day.