The events you are about to read are real. Only the names have been changed. To protect the guilty ;)
It's been a year since these posts were written, all while under a contract with S. Back then, the blog was a private journal, solely written for review by S.
[If you're interested in the whole story, you might read this blog from back to front, since it's not really live anymore. I wonder if there is a tool out there for doing something like that]
Though We/we still see each other (hurray!), S. has never offered me another like contract, and i know better than to ask (or beg). She knows She can place my (Her) cock back under Her control whenever She wants. So, it will happen if/when She wants, and not any sooner.
However, i recently entered and finished a two-week contract, as a Dom this time, with a submissive, by the name of C., that i met on OKcupid, [a good matching site that is geared for vanilla AND poly/kinky people], all with S.'s permission of course.
C. ended up blogging a bit about her experience. So, i asked S. if i could share my old blog posts with C. S. said yes, and told me i could go ahead make the whole blog public. I originally wrote in anonymous form, just to be careful, so i only had to make one small change.
Not that i am a Grateful Dead fan or anything, but what a long strange trip it has been!
the end?
Well, it's a bit anti-climatic, but this appears to be my last blog entry. Our/our 3-month contact is official over after today - in just a little bit actually as it's getting near midnight as i write
i haven't heard from S. in a little more than a week, and i believe that she is either still traveling or more likely in transit back to the States. i'm working in Germany at the moment and won't be back to the States myself for another week.
i masturbated for the required 15 minutes this morning, and yes i am still stuck on having my face buried in S.' pussy. The day since was been a whirlwind of international negotiations that totally occupied me. Tonight i will masturbate again for 15 minutes - but won't cum since i no longer have Her permission.
i don't know what comes next (though, of course, i do have my fantasies), but i do know that i had some of the best times of my life over the last 3 months, all courtesy S. Looking back, it all seems a little unreal, but the memories are so incredibly satisfying. A Jesus-take-me-now feeling if there ever was one.
i am so very grateful to S. Thank You from all of my heart.
Love,
h
i haven't heard from S. in a little more than a week, and i believe that she is either still traveling or more likely in transit back to the States. i'm working in Germany at the moment and won't be back to the States myself for another week.
i masturbated for the required 15 minutes this morning, and yes i am still stuck on having my face buried in S.' pussy. The day since was been a whirlwind of international negotiations that totally occupied me. Tonight i will masturbate again for 15 minutes - but won't cum since i no longer have Her permission.
i don't know what comes next (though, of course, i do have my fantasies), but i do know that i had some of the best times of my life over the last 3 months, all courtesy S. Looking back, it all seems a little unreal, but the memories are so incredibly satisfying. A Jesus-take-me-now feeling if there ever was one.
i am so very grateful to S. Thank You from all of my heart.
Love,
h
the last hurrah
i wanked this morning for the specified 15 minutes. It may be repetitive, but my fantasies centered on serving S., serving Her pussy to be exact.
Tonight i plan on using my very last free pass. i suspect that once i do, life under the contract will be bit odd. It will be very short (only one day left) but completely without any discretion of my own, as i will be completely out of options and so strictly forbidden from cumming.
But for the moment, i have only tunnel vision, and that vision is focused solely on cumming tonight!
Tonight i plan on using my very last free pass. i suspect that once i do, life under the contract will be bit odd. It will be very short (only one day left) but completely without any discretion of my own, as i will be completely out of options and so strictly forbidden from cumming.
But for the moment, i have only tunnel vision, and that vision is focused solely on cumming tonight!
3 down, 1 to go.
Another day, and (for a change!) another orgasm. i used up my 3rd free pass last night, and it was nothing short of glorious. This morning i woke up, masturbated for the required 15 minutes and set off on my way with a big smile plastered on my face.
i only have one free pass left and three days to get through. i suspect that will save it for the day after tomorrow. i still have two free passes to use Her cock with another woman, but sadly it looks like those passes will expire without being used at all.
Masturbating this morning was wonderful - visions of being buried in S.' pussy playing out in my head. What a way to start the day!
i only have one free pass left and three days to get through. i suspect that will save it for the day after tomorrow. i still have two free passes to use Her cock with another woman, but sadly it looks like those passes will expire without being used at all.
Masturbating this morning was wonderful - visions of being buried in S.' pussy playing out in my head. What a way to start the day!
snatching defeat from the jaws of victory
Much to my surprise i was able to complete my masturbation assignment on the plane last night.
But it didn't look so good at first. Once i got on board i found that there was no way i could wank in my seat, even under the covers, as i had two seat mates in my row. There was also a long line at the bathrooms near my seat, but much to my surprise the bathrooms at the back of the plane were half-vacant. So in i went, and started to wank. i stopped masturbating a couple of times and left the bathroom in case someone needed to use it (since i knew She would not want me inconveniencing other passengers), but both times there was no one waiting and after hanging out for minute i went back in.
Masturbating in the airplane bathroom with my pants down at my knees and my ass up against the cold steel counter was yet another perfect moment in my submission to Her.
However, and i hate to write this, the next morning i failed to wank! i maybe could have wanked on the plane. i could certainly have found a stall at the train station after i landed. But in the hurry to get to my final destination, my assignment slipped from my mind. By the time i realized it, there was no way to get the assignment done without being late for my meeting in Bonn. And i knew that She would not be pleased if i let that happen.
i am a bit mad at myself. i had come so close to being perfect for the length of the contract, and there was no good reason for failing. Argh!!!!
But it didn't look so good at first. Once i got on board i found that there was no way i could wank in my seat, even under the covers, as i had two seat mates in my row. There was also a long line at the bathrooms near my seat, but much to my surprise the bathrooms at the back of the plane were half-vacant. So in i went, and started to wank. i stopped masturbating a couple of times and left the bathroom in case someone needed to use it (since i knew She would not want me inconveniencing other passengers), but both times there was no one waiting and after hanging out for minute i went back in.
Masturbating in the airplane bathroom with my pants down at my knees and my ass up against the cold steel counter was yet another perfect moment in my submission to Her.
However, and i hate to write this, the next morning i failed to wank! i maybe could have wanked on the plane. i could certainly have found a stall at the train station after i landed. But in the hurry to get to my final destination, my assignment slipped from my mind. By the time i realized it, there was no way to get the assignment done without being late for my meeting in Bonn. And i knew that She would not be pleased if i let that happen.
i am a bit mad at myself. i had come so close to being perfect for the length of the contract, and there was no good reason for failing. Argh!!!!
another day, another dilemna
After cumming on wednesday, i now have only two free passes left to get through to the end of the contract, a stretch that is getting harder by the minute.
but i also still get to wank twice a day (without cumming, of courese), once in the evening and once in the morning. In fact i am supposed to wank twice a day, it's not optional.
i masturbated this morning, but as i sit at the airport here in San Francisco it's 2 PM, and i realize that by the time i land in Germany, it will already be morning. So, in order to obey the rule set down by S., i will have to wank on the plane. my mind is whirring. Could i do it in my seat? Will i have to go to the bathroom? Can i occupy a bathroom for 15 minutes?
What will the stewards think?
Oh, the life of a masturbation slut!
but i also still get to wank twice a day (without cumming, of courese), once in the evening and once in the morning. In fact i am supposed to wank twice a day, it's not optional.
i masturbated this morning, but as i sit at the airport here in San Francisco it's 2 PM, and i realize that by the time i land in Germany, it will already be morning. So, in order to obey the rule set down by S., i will have to wank on the plane. my mind is whirring. Could i do it in my seat? Will i have to go to the bathroom? Can i occupy a bathroom for 15 minutes?
What will the stewards think?
Oh, the life of a masturbation slut!
more looney tunes
It seems a bit repetitive to record the beginning part of this post, since i've journaled this same experience many times before. But it is what it is.
Masturbating this morning was yet another slice of heaven. It is nothing less than rapture to masturbate while under the control of S. i have never enjoyed masturbating this much in my entire life, and i doubt i ever will again.
While masturbating, i began fantasizing by thinking back to Wednesday's meeting with G.
i remembered one moment when she teased me, saying that she wished she had S.' flogger to beat me with. That started me on to fantasizing about being flogged by S. And that's when a strange thing happened.
i started thinking about S.' desire to hurt me, and i started getting incredibly turned on. i had to immediately stop wanking to keep from cumming. i was so hot that i had to wait a good bit before starting up again.
Never before have i been excited at the prospect of being beaten. And yet here i was, delirious with desire at the prospect of being flogged by S. And that's when it struck me. It wasn't the prospect of the pain that was so attractive (and having been flogged before, i know what it's like). It was the prospect of being a way for S. to act out Her desire to inflict pain that was so powerful.
i have been beaten by others, but never by someone who loves me. And being that i am in love with S., the prospect of being beaten by Her fills my heart with joy.
(did i mention that i am crazy?)
Masturbating this morning was yet another slice of heaven. It is nothing less than rapture to masturbate while under the control of S. i have never enjoyed masturbating this much in my entire life, and i doubt i ever will again.
While masturbating, i began fantasizing by thinking back to Wednesday's meeting with G.
i remembered one moment when she teased me, saying that she wished she had S.' flogger to beat me with. That started me on to fantasizing about being flogged by S. And that's when a strange thing happened.
i started thinking about S.' desire to hurt me, and i started getting incredibly turned on. i had to immediately stop wanking to keep from cumming. i was so hot that i had to wait a good bit before starting up again.
Never before have i been excited at the prospect of being beaten. And yet here i was, delirious with desire at the prospect of being flogged by S. And that's when it struck me. It wasn't the prospect of the pain that was so attractive (and having been flogged before, i know what it's like). It was the prospect of being a way for S. to act out Her desire to inflict pain that was so powerful.
i have been beaten by others, but never by someone who loves me. And being that i am in love with S., the prospect of being beaten by Her fills my heart with joy.
(did i mention that i am crazy?)
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