My Rules (thanks to S.)

This past weekend, I had a conversation with S. about the day-to-day rules in our relationship, prompted by a couple of blog posts we had read.

The first post, My D/s Rules, was authored by @BrigitWrites, aka Brigit Delaney, and the second post, projects, structure and protocol: three mechanisms for 24/7 d/s, was authored by @sexgeekAZ, aka Andrea  Zanin.

S. asked me if I could name all the rules she had set to date for me. She was wondering what the list would like. It wasn’t a challenge - she’s never asked me to memorize the list - though obviously I’m supposed to remember each when the situation calls for it. 

Together we recalled most of the list.  The next day when I was home I typed them up and added a couple more that I had remembered.

I sent them along to S., who was very happy to see the list.  To my relief, she didn’t spot any missing rules. But she did add a couple of new rules - ongoing traditions/practices of ours that she formalized as rules. [I also noticed that, for what I think is the first time, she capitalized Her mid-sentence.]

So, here are my rules (in no particular order)

- Must ask permission to go to the bathroom

- Must ask permission to leave her presence (unclear about all the circumstances in which this applies)

- Must ask permission to masturbate.

- Not allowed to have sex with other people.

- Must ask permission to drink alcohol in her presence.

- Must check-in each morning (before noon) via text

- Must not wear shorts when cleaning bathroom, must wear kneepads.

- Must make sure she has water at her bedside when going to bed together.

- Must ask permission before going down on her or initiating sexual touching beyond 1st base (full body embracing excluded), unless circumstances indicate that permission is already given (e.g. taking a shower together).

- Generally must seek her approval for changes to my calendar, particularly for social engagements that are not urgent.  Last minute changes can be excepted when circumstances warrant, as can complicated changes, e.g. scheduling that involves multiple dates or a lot of back and forth.

- When arriving at her house, must put pocket items/bag by chair at top of stairs. Must immediately go sit/kneel by couch in living room.

And here are the two rules she instituted in reply:

- Responsible for making Her bed in the morning

- Responsible for cleaning up dishes unless otherwise instructed

I am very lucky that she is happy to engage with me in a female-led relationship in which she sets (and enforces) rules such as this. 

Sigh.  : )

P.S. - Yes, the screenshot above is what my phone looks like at the moment.

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Update: A couple days ago I was thinking back to when I was at last at S.'s house. And I wondered if I had practiced what might be a rule that’s not on “the list” but should be. Before getting dressed in the morning, I asked her permission to put on clothes b/c she had once told me that when getting out of bed I shouldn’t get put clothes back on without permission.  This is an example of an instance in which I "know" the rule when the situation arises - even if I can't recite all the rules from the top of my head.

Anyways, I texted her to ask if this was a rule and if it should be on the list, and she texted back:  "Correct! Good addition to the list."

  - must ask permission to put clothes back on when getting out of bed.