Since my last post about the "miss opportunity" i have learned that when she spoke about me not cumming as a "missed opportunity," she was NOT, in fact, thinking that orgasms would be rare for me, but rather she was expressing the traditional vanilla regret for not giving her partner an orgasm.
Since that time i have shared even more of my submissive nature, and she has expressed a lot of interest but also a lot of uncertainty about leading and dominating me. And she has also expressed some concern that being dominant in a romantic relationship may not suit her.
While that was disappointing to hear, it was also great to have that reality open and on the table. i really want to avoid getting into a vanilla relationship.
Since then we have talked a LOT about all this, and she has expressed much more interest in dominating me.
And, ironically that is a bit concerning, as i wonder/worry how much of her motivation is about genuine personal interest, and how much is about her wanting to keep dating me and her knowing that this is important to me. A FLR will only be successful for us if it works for her, and not simply because she's happy to do it for me.
i have decided to roll with it for now, but not get my hopes up too much. And to be watchful for signs that this is a dynamic/relationship that fulfills her enough that it gives her energy.
And she has started to take control.
She left yesterday to hang out with friends up on a river. Before she left directed me to clean her house while she was gone, and she prohibited me from masturbating until: i was done cleaning, had sent her a video of the results, and had gotten her approval.
After she had left, i realized that i had a question about exactly what “no masturbating” meant, as at least one Domme in my past life didn’t care if i jerked off when my cock was under her control - as long as i didn’t cum.
So, in this exchange above, i asked the question and got the answer - no touching at all.
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