being grateful

I met up with S. again last week. We met for drinks, after which I walked her home and she invited me inside. Our relationship has been a long saga, an on-again, off-again affair spanning seven years now. However, we have only met up four times in the last year. There is much love between us - in fact I’m pretty sure we will always love each other and will always be there for each other as friends. But a year ago, she finally drew a line on how far our romance can go (in part perhaps because I pushed for more). And now, for the last year we have only met up because I reached out to her.

For while now, I have assumed nothing and carried no expectations when we do meet up. However, for most of our seven years we have had a domme/sub relationship between the sheets, and over the last year we have talked about a FLR. While those words are uncomfortable for her - as she has pointed out - the practice is not - as she has also acknowledged. She prefers to meet and catch -up on equal terms, but we always shift to a soft dominant/submissive pattern when we move into a physical/sexual mode.

Anyhoo, last week I gave her a back massage which followed by me going down on her, for a long time. Finally she pushed me away and we shifted into spooning, drifting towards sleep.

Usually our pattern is to go to sleep. We haven’t had intercourse in years, and she hasn’t touched my cock (except maybe to play with it when caged) in even longer. On occasion, sometimes when I have been cleaning for her, she will let me jerk off while kneeling, usually in the bathroom and she has me lick it up.

However, this time I asked her, before she fell asleep, if I could jerk off. She was quiet for a very short moment, as if thinking, and then said “OK, but don’t get the sheets messy, don’t get anything on the sheets. I am the only person who can do that.” So, I quietly masturbated, being careful to catch the cum in hands. I slid out of bed and washed my hands and then slid back in, spooning against her and we went to sleep. All pretty much without saying a word.

In the morning, after waking up and while lying in bed next to her, I thought to myself that I should have thanked her for allowing me to jerk off, and confessed as much to her. She replied, “That’s OK. As long as you are truly grateful and as long as you express it.”